Borderline

February 1, 2024 (rabbit, rabbit)

Another in a series of observations of life as I know it.

All my exes live in Texas.

-Sanger and Lyndia Shafer

~~~~~

I forget who quipped that politics make strange bedfellows. But really, why the heck would any lucid person opt to hop into the sack with a politician? Especially of the red state ilk. The ick factor is off the charts. With a few prominent exceptions, most are two-faced Januses who’d sell their mamas down the river for 2 cents on the dollar. Politics is akin to back alley dog fighting, wherein bets are placed and all the dogs kill each other. Too bad the dogs don’t turn on the humans and save the rest of us the trouble.

So this week’s pooch haggle is a tasty one. Why? Well, the IQ factor in the House of Representatives is in the dull normal range. Below 80. Mensa isn’t a club that congresspersons can join much less spell. So it should come as no surprise to anyone that Irony is DOA on the House floor. To wit, the much labored upon immigration bill that’s been in the works for months is now cold as a corpse, the pennies stolen from its eyes. Because? The current front runner on the GOP ticket doesn’t want his opponent, the President, to be able to take credit for it. Orange Julius was so busy whilst in office building walls (on Mexican credit) and concentration camps for babies that he failed to sponsor legislation. Now he wants to run on this very bill and his acolytes have meekly acquiesced. No bill.

But here’s where irony comes to die. The House is pushing articles of impeachment against the Secretary of Homeland Security, Alejandro Mayorkas for…wait for it. Not doing enough to prevent the swell of immigrants at our borders. And fix the border problem. Wait, what? Lest we forget, the Honorable Secretary has been going at it, hammer and tongs with the governor of Texas who has stopped about an inch short of seceding from the Union. Razor wire barriers are the new Fort Sumter. Guv Abbott has drawn a limpid line in the quick sand along the Rio Grande. Alejandro Mayorkas Is holding firm. And working hand in glove with the President and even bipartisan members of the Senate to exact some measure of legislation to help to repair the broken borders. In short, he’s doing his job and will likely suffer the ignominy of impeachment for his trouble. Dear lord save me. Kill the bill and its messenger, then use the remnants as the party platform.

So, to recap, someone should really just let Texas go quietly. Call Robert E Lee and Jefferson Davis to oversee its departure. Don’t let the screen door hit you on the way out. However, irony again waggles its bushy eyebrows. MAGA Texans are innocently asking the following—if they secede from the Union, can they also keep their Social Security benefits.

Somebody cry Mercy!