May I have a word?
December 4, 2023
Another in a series of observations of life as I know it.
Why is it that when Hillary Clinton says the word 'deplorable' in a speech, it is banner headlines for a month, it seems. When Donald Trump uses Nazi terminology to degrade human beings, uses 'vermin,' you hardly hear about it. Why is that?
-Joe Scarborough
~~~~~
When I was but a wee lass, my schoolmates and I often heard the phrase “sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me”. Ostensibly, this lovely old sentiment was used to try to ward off verbal bullying in the school yard. My teachers were pretty adept at stopping physical attacks, usually anticipating them by watching the eyes and jittery hands of would be small guerilla soldiers. Not so with words. Those spring forth with alacrity and alarm.
I am here to tell you that words hurt. And not just the full frontal assaults of vicious name calling on the playground. Mean Girl gossip is toxic and painful. Boys are a little less sophisticated, but their verbal slurs can do damage. Too many children develop a form of psychic trauma, PTSD if you will. They do not become inured to taunts. Sensitive kids internalize these nasty words and too often commit suicide in an effort to end the pain.
But what of the bullies themselves? What causes them to behave so reprehensibly? Well, clearly this question is above my pay grade. I have some educated guesses and I am sure you do too. When children become adults and don’t mature or grow out of the tendency to verbally vomit nasty words, then well, Houston we’ve got a problem. At least since 2014 or thereabouts, we have ingested a constant barrage of verbal invective. Really awful words that sting and leave a mark on the heart. But, with repetition, we’ve developed an aural callus. Like playing a guitar, over time your fingers grow a protective layer. So too our ears and brains. Some of us just tune it out. We stop listening. Yet Joe Scarborough has an interesting point. When a candidate, normally subdued, drops a remark meant to characterize a certain political group, it makes news. She or he is skewered in the press and demonized for that one ill chosen term. Whereas the opposition candidate spews a steady stream of hate and caustic word salads. And no one pays any attention.
However, they really do. Our national conversation is liberally littered with barbs. Stinging arrows of pain. Ad hominem attacks on minorities, women, entire nations. We have become desensitized to evil. And so have children. Just ask any teacher. It is the new norm. Valor and decency are now seen as weaknesses. Kindness is a flaw not a virtue. And so, when an entire populace loses its humanity, Armageddon ensues.
In this all-too-temporary season of light that comes in the midst of December’s darkness, we are reintroduced to charity and love again and we are suddenly cognizant of the callus we have grown against the verbal sticks and stones. Words have meaning. They can raise us up, but also send us spiraling downward. It would seem to follow that we need to say exactly what we mean instead of aping the rants of a lunatic. Be kind. Do not be blinded by fools who do not wish you well. Or as my Nana used to tell me, if you don’t have anything nice to say, be silent until you do. I am ever mindful of my friend Sharon Howard’s good advice: Nice Matters.
